This is a bit of a vent.
I've just unsubscribed from an email list I've been on for years. Up until about 6 months ago, I was very happy being on the list, although I didn't have much time to be an active participant. Having said that, it didn't seem to matter if I was participating, because in recent months, anything I've posted has been roundly ignored. But I figured that I was just being over sentitive, and I shouldn't take it personally. And generally, I haven't.
What has pushed me over the edge is a series of emails that implies that people who only want to be involved in the group at an email level are not 'doing their bit' for the group. The final straw was an email that wanted to 'flush out lurkers'. And not just flush them out, but to get rid of them. The level of insensitivity here is gobsmacking. The list is for bisexual women (these days, it has become more a list for lesbians. I don't mind their presence, but I do object to having a rare bi-safe place taken over) and so I'm sure that there are people on there who are in the stage of getting comfortable with the space, and should be left to do so in their own time.
My perception is that the list has become cliquey, and only those who can actual make the 'meets' seem to get much response. And the thing that really pisses me off? Some time ago, someone made a genuine post about wanting to know about how she could go about finding another woman to have sex with, and the email was responsed too very negatively, with a round of 'that's not appropriate' and 'how dare you' - lots of prudish responses. And yet, a large percentage of emails are flirtatious, in a manner that I would find inappropriate in a social situation. How is it that this subterfuge is acceptable, whereas the honest post was not?
now to try and find an online group where I can talk about those issues that affect me as a suburban mother in a stable relationship who likes women as well as men, at least the ones that are outside the general ken of most of the people in my social crowd.
Well, we've just made it home and sorted from SwanCon 2006 (West Australian regional Science Fiction Convention, for those who are not familiar with it). It was a pleasant weekend - especially given that there were some concerns about the standard of the convention, as much of the organising committee were new to such things. Guest of honour was Merceded Lackey, so we made the attempt - bought one of her books. I've now read it, and while I enjoyed it, I'm certainly not going to go chasing after her stuff. It was fun, wry, slightly dark, and yet fluffy. I gather that it isn't exactly her run of the mill stuff, and given that the bookseller who recommended it has a good idea of the type of stuff that we read, not sure if this wasn't a deliberate choice.
Oh, the title. Burning Water
. And my recommendation? If you are after slightly dark, brain candy with a touch of subtle humour is good. If you are after something with depth, not so sure. I managed to finish it in 2 days despite convention, small children and lack of time. 8/10